


Esther (1999 TV Movie) Review

by starlitdays



Series: Louise Lombard [1]
Category: Esther (1999)
Genre: Reviews, Screenshots, Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-22
Updated: 2018-02-22
Packaged: 2019-03-22 12:39:58
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,223
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13764372
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starlitdays/pseuds/starlitdays
Summary: Chapter One: Liveblog Review (with screencaps)Chapter Two: Extended Review (with screencaps)Chapter Three: Summary Review (with screencaps)





	1. Liveblog

**Author's Note:**

> TL;DR: 7/10. But one point comes from my massive crush on Louise Lombard, so 6/10 baseline.
> 
> Some swearing.
> 
> All screencaps featured were taken by me. Feel free to use them, but please let me know and give me credit.
> 
> Cast:
> 
> Louise Lombard as Esther / Hadassah  
> F. Murray Abraham as Mordecai  
> Jürgen Prochnow as Haman  
> Thomas Kretschmann as King Ahasuerus

Why isn’t anybody side-eyeing this ONE GUY who has his face covered?

Dude, if you’re gonna shoplift, be a little more subtle about it. Don’t literally run up, swipe the jewelry, and run away. Subtlety.

“We must try to do nothing which can bring harm to our people.” *promptly defies the law* Dude.

First scene, and already so many different accents. Didn’t know they had Germans in Persia.

I have no idea what language they’re speaking but my language kink is getting a workout at Louise Lombard speaking something-not-English :D

Ezra, you’re being fucking creepy.

Mordecai, you’re being creepy, too. Also suspicious.

For being such a supposedly lavish party, this party is awful lame. And for supposedly displaying the king’s wealth, there’s, uh, not much in way of wealth displayed

Why is the king of Persia German? And why is the queen of Persia Italian?

The king is hilariously petulant

Everyone has very fluffy hair in this movie

Okay so like, Esther says that the girl she’s comforting would stop crying if she could be with her sister, but admits she’s never met the girl before. Girl didn’t say anything, just cried. How she know there’s a sister??? *plothole*

All the eunuchs are super effeminate and I’m not sure why

There are wayyy too many white people in this movie (and they all have blue eyes)

Oh my god. So this is like, the 4th or 5th time I’ve watched this movie, and I legit never noticed before that her dress when she goes before the king for the first time, is slightly transparent (not a lot, just a little) and I Approve

Ugh, she gives this look that kills me every time

 

I really really like the gold tube things they have in her hair. Kinda like decorated dreadlocks, without the actual dreadlocks

Her headdress is crooked. It bothers me.

The king uses the royal we (“tell us your name”) and it sounds weird. I know it’s a thing, but it still sounds weird

“The truth is, I’ve always been afraid of the unknown. And I’ve never known a man.” IDK why, but this line Does Things to me (no, I don’t have a virgin kink, I think it’s the clever wording)

Considering that this love scene is little more than him kissing her hand and lower arm, it’s surprisingly sexy. Super disappointed that it faded out before they kissed tho

Also Louise has gorgeous hands. Just putting that out there.

The king is SO hilariously dramatic. Ah, TV movie overacting

I feel like these gymnast performers wouldn’t actually be allowed to jump all over the dias where the king’s throne is

Every time Haman speaks, I think of Skyrim. Damn German accents LOL

So like… I know this probably wasn’t intentional and all, but it’s SUPER uncomfortable that the character (Haman) who aggressively hates the Jews and tries to kill them all is played by a German actor. I mean, the character would be uncomfortable anyway, but this just makes it more so.

The king is much more reluctant to kill the Jews in this movie than in the actual Bible story

“You will be granted all the powers” that sounds like something you’d hear on tumblr LOL

She cries pretty. That sounds creepy, but it’s true

I totally expected her to pick a rose on her way to see the king, like she did the first time she went to see him, and was disappointed when she didn’t

I do really like the emphasis on the jingling of her jewelry in this scene, tho. It really enhances the moment

So when the king runs down the steps to her, she does this full-body flinch and it just kills me, it’s so good

Oh man, best shot in the movie is where they have Haman walking into his house, with the shot framed through the noose of the gallows

Haman’s “oh shit” face as Esther is explaining to the king that she and her people are to be killed is fucking hilarious

The king’s having a tantrum again (okay, it’s justified) and splashes a basin of water, and it sprays water all over the camera lens and I am unreasonably amused by this

OMG everyone is so dramatically intense in this scene. So much yelling and over-inflection

So through the movie she keeps saying “if it pleases the king, and if I have won his favor” anytime she wants to ask for something, right? Well this one time she does it, he responds which this super suggestive-sounding “yes?” like he’s started seeing the phrase as foreplay

These guys are all talking about going back to Jerusalem like that’ll keep them safe. Jerusalem was part of the Persian Empire at the time, it ain’t gonna help

I SO wish they hadn’t done an overlay of the fighting when they did the slow zoom on Esther’s face. Like I said before, she cries pretty. And this is very quiet and dignified, the whole single tear thing. I wanna cap it, but not with the overlay of people killing each other :-/

The king’s whole speech about truly being with Esther and (basically) being partners and lovers fucking kills me. The first time I watched this movie I was so uncomfortable (because it’s been 7 years since I stopped being a Christian) but I got to this point and was basically like “... I ship it.”


	2. Extended Review

Why do all Bible movies (or at least all I’ve seen) have like, the same Bible Voice voiceover at the beginning and end of the movie?

I know it’s a budget thing, and I get that, I really do, but how small everything is really breaks the immersion. This is the market at the capital of the Persian Empire, it’s gonna be way bigger and way busier than is shown here. (I have the same complaint about the palace later in the movie. It’s not big enough and there definitely isn’t enough visible wealth displayed. This is an empire where the king’s advisor offered 10 thousand talents of silver like it was no big deal [for reference, that’s about 375 tons or 340 metric tons] but all we ever see of the king’s wealth is a few gold cups.)

I feel like this is less of an issue for people more acquainted with the Bible, but I found it super confusing that Haman was referred to both as an Amalekite and as “Haman the Agagite.”

I really wish I knew what language they were speaking in that little bit where you first see Hadassah (Esther, for those unfamiliar with the story).

Ezra continues to be creepy even on the 6th or so rewatch. Coming up like “She’s so generous. And obedient.” in a super smarmy tone.

Goof: They make a point in this scene of telling the cupbearer-in-training to taste the wine before serving it to the king, but then don’t actually have him do it.

Lamest. Party. Ever.

“The king’s most beautiful jewel isn’t among these” I should hope not, there’s barely anything there. (Okay, so while I understand budget concerns, apparently I will continue to be salty about it.)

This scene in Vashti’s chambers is weird. The play is weird. Vashti’s reaction to her guests’ non-reactions is weird. (I do like how she tells her guest that she’s the queen and does as she pleases right before the king summons her to “be displayed” though.)

So the king takes all the virgins from all over the kingdom for himself. I kinda feel sorry for that entire swath of men who basically can’t get married for several more years while waiting for the next group of girls to come of age to marry. (And obviously feel sorry for the girls, but I mean, it’s not like they’d have much say in who they married anyway. *casually being the worst feminist ever*)

Awkward wording is awkward. “Forget your name. But never forget you are a Jew. Except in the silence of your heart.”

Goof: They verbally identify the wood carried by a donkey as ebony, but it looks like pine (or a similar light wood).

(The above goof is so accurate to the portrayal of race in this movie though… Characters are Persians and Jews, hire an English woman, two German men, an Italian woman…)

Okay so I’m gonna talk for a bit about race in this movie. Because everyone who speaks more than a single line (aside from Mordecai) is white, except for one black woman who plays a servant. All of the women in the harem are WOC except Esther who is white. In this movie, all the extras are POC but all the main characters are white (and all the white characters also have blue eyes). It especially bothers me in regards to the women in the harem, because having the ONLY white woman also be the woman who’s considered the most beautiful is putting out some really terrible connotations. (It should be noted that Vashti, also considered the most beautiful woman in the kingdom, was also white.)

On a lighter note, I’m really appreciating that this linen dress they have her in (a couple times through the movie) is slightly transparent. Not a lot, but just enough to make me grin a bit lasciviously.

The love scene continues to kill me. For being so basic and not even containing any kissing or touching anywhere other than the left arm (from hand to shoulder) and cheek, it’s remarkably sexy.

The king is very screamy when he gets upset. It’s kind of hilarious.

Esther’s reaction to the king not sending for her in weeks begs the question. Love, or Stockholm Syndrome? (I vote love, but that’s because I ship everything. I feel like Stockholm Syndrome would be a little more realistic.)

Watching a king bum-scooch across a bed will never not be hilarious.

So that slightly transparent linen dress I mentioned early made another appearance, and you can clearly see the white leotard worn underneath at one point.

I continue to be uncomfortable with all the praying in this movie. Joys of being a former Christian, I suppose. Makes me wonder what a secular version of the story would be like, though.

I feel like there are better ways to get to sleep than listening to a scribe recite history. Like summoning your beautiful wife and allowing her to…  _ soothe _ you to sleep. (Granted, that would fuck up the story, but still.)

There’s at least four different pronunciations of Ahasuerus in this movie.

The scene where the king is comforting Esther after the fighting is so sweet, it turns my little shipper heart to mush. And him telling her “Be my queen. Share my kingdom, my nights. Be the light of my life. I shall be your lover when you desire me. And your counsel when you need me. I’ve never given a woman the love I feel for you.” And her whispered “It shall be so.” All the feels, dude. All. The. Feels.

Actually, in retrospect, I wonder if this is why they didn’t show them kissing during the love scene. If they were saving it for this moment when they become equals, give it more meaning, more weight, more impact. (It only took me half a dozen times watching this movie to realize…)

(I didn’t realize until I was capping it, but when Ahasuerus and Esther kiss, he leans in, but then he waits for her to be the one to actually initiate the kiss, and that gave me butterflies)

And there’s the Bible Voice voiceover again. Along with a montage of the Jews walking back to Jerusalem.


	3. Summary Review

The biggest thing to keep in mind when watching Esther is that it is what it is. And what it is is a 90s TV movie. The budget is disappointing, but for the most part, they do well with what they have.

The acting is… well, it’s something. Louise Lombard and F. Murray Abraham outshine everyone else by far, avoiding over-acting and consistently staying in the realm of believability. Everyone else has at least one moment of yelling and over-inflection (and in the case of Thomas Kretschmann, a good half a dozen such moments). Being as I’ve seen some of the actors in other things that haven’t involved over-acting, I’m inclined to believe it was more of a directorial decision than individual acting ones.

As I said in my extended review, there are some serious issues with regards to race in this movie. I feel like they should have either used all POC actors, or had a mix of POC and white actors in speaking roles. (For those who haven’t read my extended review, there are only two significant characters who are POC, one of which is a servant.) And they  **certainly** , if casting a white woman as Esther, needed to have more than one white woman in the harem, to avoid the implication that her skin color had something to do with being found the most beautiful.

Considering it’s a Bible movie, I did find it enjoyable, although other former Christians or anti-Christians may have a hard time watching (as I did, the first time) even if they’re a fan of one (or more) cast member.

And because Esther and Ahasuerus are adorable, have a small picspam.


End file.
